All posts by Bhavneshpohan

About Bhavneshpohan

Love to read books & Her Eyes photography... Writing articles...

Dear Zindagi

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Dear Zindagi,

I want to confess something to you. I know you will be surprised after reading this. Because every time I talk to you, I end up bombarding all my problems & issues towards you. The word “Sorry” is never enough, still i want to apologise for all those sleepless nights, crying and griefs, through which I made you suffer with me.

I always wanted to live free. And you know who was stopping me?. It was ME. There are lots of things which I wanted to do but the fear of failing always stopped me from doing those. I always wanted to write but i had a inner fear that, no one will ever read my blogs. So I never started. But now I write whatever my heart feels. There are handful of people who regularly read whatever I put up on my page. I am loving this process of happiness. It is amazing. And now i realised that this is what matters. This is the missing piece of puzzle that i was searching for.

There were many problems with my relationship. It didn’t work out. And I always solely blamed myself for it. But I never saw it the other way. Some relations are never meant to go forever. And that’s okay. You can’t force someone to stay in your life. Let them go. Wait for someone who deserves your heart and soul.

Now I have learnt not just to live but to celebrate each and every moment of you(my life). And I am loving this new version of you, which was there but I never noticed. So, Thank you Zindagi….

Love You

Ravana:

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An evil demon of darkness, ten-headed monster, one who abducted Sita. All these thoughts come to our mind when we hear the name “Ravana”. From our childhood, he had always been portrayed like a negative character or a villain. But despite of that, there are many things which makes Ravana an unsung hero. And for that, we should turn back the pages of history and try to read the untold story of Asuras.

After reading the Meluha series, someone suggested me about this book called, ‘Asura – Tale of the Vanquished’. It is an epic story of Ravana and his people. We all have read or know about ‘Ramayana’, but little did we know about the silent story of these vanquished asuras and their leader “Ravana”.

I still remember when I started reading this book, I came across one line said by Ravana himself. After reading that I immediately called her and read those lines for her(which I usually do). After listening those lines she got impressed and said that she will definitely read this book. The lines were, “I was born to fulfil someone else’s destiny, to make someone else a God”.

Regardless of being Rakshasa(a demon), he was also a great scholar, fearsome warrior, maestro of Veena(a musical instrument), follower of lord Shiva. The only problem which led to his downfall was his ego. Like every year, today we are celebrating his death as Dussehra (the day when Rama killed Ravana, victory of Deva’s over Asura’s). I am not saying that whatever Ravana did was right, but there were certain things which he did are worth to respect and we can learn so much from this invincible man.

To know more about Ravana, his people, his way of ruling, his associates and so many untold things, read this book “Asura-Tale of the Vanquished”.

You can get this book online from:

http://www.amazon.in/Asura-Vanquished-Story-Ravana-People/dp/938157605X

पाऊस “तिच्या आठवणीतला”

 

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तो कोणाशीच बोलत नाही“, “लोकांनमध्ये मिसळत नाही“, अशी सर्वांची नेहमीच माझ्याबद्दल तक्रार असायची. आता त्यात थोड्याफार बदल झाला आहे अस म्हणायला काही हरकत नाही. पण तरीही कधी कधी मला माझ्याच वागण्यातून जाणवत, कि त्या तक्रारींमधे चुकिच अस काहीच नव्हते.

ऐकटेपणाशी माझी मैत्री तशी फार जुनी आहे. आणि मग यात स्वतःशी बोलण, जुन्या आठवणी पुन्हा गिरवण असे माझे उद्योग चालु असायचे. पण गेले काही दिवस माझ स्वतःशी बिनसल होत. काहितरी अनपेक्षित पण हवीहवीशी गोष्ट घडणार याची पुसटशी चाहुल मला होत होती.

आणि मग त्या पहाटे कसलीही पुर्वकल्पना न देता ती माझ्या आयुष्यात(मनातल्या विश्वात) आली. कुठेही प्रेमाबद्दल ऐकल, वाचल कि मी जिच चित्र माझ्या मनात रेखाटायचो ती हीच. तिचे ते डोळे ज्यांची नशा अजूनही
तशिच आहे, कोरलेले ओठ, मानेवर रुळलेले तिचे काळेभोर केस, ति अगदी माझ्या चित्रातल्या परीसारखीच होती.

तिच्या येण्याने सर्वच काही बदलुन गेल होत. माझ्यातल्या “मी” ची आता “तिने” जागा घेतली होती. माझ्या व्यतिरिक्त मी एका तिसऱ्या व्यक्तीसोबत इतक मोकळेपणाने बोलू शकतो हे मला तिच्या आल्या नंतर कळाल. तिच्या समोर
बसुन दिवसभर तिला ऐकत (आणि पाहत) रहाव, बस्स या व्यतिरिक्त मला बाकी
काहीच नको होत.

असच एकदा तिच्याशी गप्पा मारत होतो. ति कसल्यातरी विचारात गर्क होती. तिच्या कडे पाहून तिच काहीतरी नक्कीच बिनसल आहे याची कल्पना मला आलीच होती. मी हि जरा जपुन आणि मोजकच बोलण्याचा प्रयत्न करत होतो. असच बोलता बोलता मी तिला विचारल कि “अग तुला पावसाळा आवडतो का“? माझा हा प्रश्न ऐकताच तिच्या कोरलेल्या ओठांतुन आलेल हसु आणि गालावर पडलेली ति खळी, तिच आणि पावसाच नक्कीच काही नात आहे हे मला सांगून गेली.

तिच्यासाठी पाऊस हा तिच्यापासून दुर गेलेल्या प्रियकरासारखा आहे. ज्याची ति नेहमीच आतुरतेने वाट पाहत असते पण तो नेहमीच यायला उशीर करतो, मुद्दामूनच. आभाळत काळे ढग दाटून आले कि तिच मन अधिर होऊन जात, लाटांवर
हेलकावत असणाऱ्या त्या गलबतांसारखच. ढगांचा गडगडात झाला कि तो मला चिडवतोय अस तिला उगीच वाटत. पण तिला आतून हे सर्व आवडत असत. मी रुसले कि तो नक्कीच धावत येइल हे तिला ठाऊक असत म्हणून ति रुसुन बसते आणि मग तो येतो. त्याच्या पहिल्या सरी अंगावर घेतना जणु काही त्याने आपल्याला कुशीतच घेतल आहे अस तिला वाटू लागत. मग बाकी जगाच तिला भानच नाही राहत. पावसात नाचता नाचता मधेच ति रडते जे त्याला मुळीच आवडत नाही, खूप भांडतेे, खोटं खोटं त्याला मारते जे त्याला खुप आवडत. तो कधीच जाऊ नये अस तिला मनापासून वाटत पण त्याच जाणही तितकच गरजेच असत. घरी आल्यावर आरशासमोर चिंब भिजलेले केस सुखवताना तो आपल्याला खिडकितुन चोरुन पाहतोय कि काय अस तिला उगीच वाटत राहत.

इतक सांगून ति उभी राहिली आणि खिडकीजवळ गेली. या हि वेळी त्याने जरा जास्तच उशीर केला होता यायला. मगाशी यामुळेच तिचा चेहरा पडला होता हे आता मला समजल.

Wrong Number

……..said a familiar voice

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Once in a while, right in the middle of an ordinary life, LOVE gives us a fairy tale. But some of these are never meant to go till the end. Because sometimes no matter how hard you try, one cannot change what already is written in their destiny. What then remains with us are just the memories.The worst part is that, they can only be remembered, we cannot touch or feel them. I came across one such love story. Yes, it has a lot of sorrow, crying, pain, but the most beautiful fact is, it was all real and true. The feelings, romance, love, were all true.

I am a die hard Bollywood fan. When I was single, or to be precise in a one sided love, I have always imagined myself proposing to her, the way SRK does in all his films. It never happened though. But their story was simple and it started like any other couple’s love story. They both were in same university and they had a few common friends. It was him who fell for her, when he saw her for the very first time. But as a de facto rule, a guy needs to make the first move, so he started trying very hard to get her attention. She already had an idea about it (from a friend), but she never showed it, she wanted him to try more and impress her. So, love was in the air.

After few days, their numbers got exchanged, they started talking through messages and messages were replaced by calls. Many a times they both used to skip the lectures and sit in the library for all the time, just to see each other. Those were the best days. They started liking each other’s company. It was just the beginning, but they already witnessed the best days of their lives, or at least she definitely did.

Everything was going well until that day, the day when he told her that, they can’t be together and it will not work for the long run. The moment she heard him saying all this, she got numbed, betrayed, cheated. She never expected this. But he had his own reasons and circumstances. He knew that it would be very difficult for the both of them to call off their relationship which had just started to bloom. But he was very firm on his decision. She tried all the possible ways, cried even begged to make him understand, but maybe it was too late. He just disappeared from her life, from their fairytale, leaving her behind, alone. He left in peace, and left her in pieces.

But as they say, time never stops for anyone. The day he left, her belief in love was gone. She was strong but lost. Now, the life had completely changed. They both moved ahead in their lives. She always wanted him happy, but behind that happiness she wanted her to be a reason. Is this selfishness?? Yes, maybe. He is happy and stable now, but this time with someone else. Should this thing should bother her?? She always says NO to this question. But deep inside, the girl who loved someone truly is always against it. The girl she is right now, and the one from the past, they always fight with each other, but they both know that nothing is going to change.

She was very strong right from the beginning, but he made her stronger. Yes, sometimes she would get weak like all other humans, but now after so many years she is used to such things. After all these years, he always managed to cross her mind at least once through whole day. Initially she tried to avoid him (his thoughts), but there are the things which you can’t control. So she learned to make peace with it.

There are many among us, who when go through such phases, we just want to get over those things as early as possible. But she never imagined herself getting over him (his thoughts). Through all these years she had gone through many sleepless nights. At one such night, she was reading one of her favorite book, for don’t know how many times. And then her phone rang. She closed the book, and took the phone to check . It was an unknown number. She was about to reject the call, but something inside resisted her. Between all this, she accidentally picked up the call. She said “Hello”?? And the next moment, when she heard the voice from the other side, she got numbed, her hands were getting cold, she was shivering like anything, and no words were coming out of her mouth. Yes, it was HIM.

She wanted to tell him that she is still waiting for him, she still cares, she still believes in their incomplete fairytale. With his each word, she felt his touch, smell, she wanted to hug him and cry for the one last time. She came in her senses, when he asked, “Is there anyone”?? She wanted to yell at him and at the same time ask him that one question, which she had kept with herself. But instead, she said, “Sorry, Wrong number”. The moment she uttered those words, she cursed herself for doing it. This time she didn’t get any response from him. Still, the call was on. Nobody said anything. She could feel that his eyes were moist, maybe. She wanted him to say something. But she knew he won’t. She gathered all her courage and was about to say something,

He disconnected the call….

A Special Thanks

And the Best Title Creator for the month of Feb goes to…..Bhavnesh Pohan from Morning shift.

For first 3 months I was in night shift. We were asked to come in the afternoon for the monthly nomination. But due to some reason I reached late. It had started already. If I enter through the main door of cafeteria then everyone would have looked at me, so I skipped that idea. I was that shy. I went for the back door. But even there I stood for around 10 minutes. The doorkeeper, all this while was looking at me suspiciously, as if I was from some different planet. I gathered all my courage and joined the people who were standing very near to the door.

Introduction of nominees, announcement of winners, clapping, cheering, speeches, all these things were happening in front of me simultaneously. Those moments inspired me and I could already hear people cheering my name and curiously listening my speech. I know it was all my imagination but deep inside my heart I knew that I will make it happen. It took time but soon it happened. I got nominated 3 times out of which won twice.

There are many people who helped me in achieving this, but there is one person to whom I can never thank when it comes to words. I tried something in my first winning speech, I hope she liked it. She is my mentor, a person whom I can ask all my silly doubts, be it related to work or my personal life. She has been always there with the solution.

Thank you so much Zenia for all your support and guidance.

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(still from Annual Party, Pic Courtesy…Herself)

In last nomination I didn’t gave speech. I was prepared but not sure that it will be Me. So here is the exclusive untold speech of mine,

(First thing I would like to mention that I like my name in this font (Pointing towards my name in certificate). Last time when I won for the discovery I had a feeling of an actor getting the award but this time I am feeling like a superstar. It always feels great when your hard work is getting appreciated and recognized. I would like to thank management and my whole team for their support. Till the time I will be in this organization and will get these awards, one name will be always constant in my thanking speech and it is off course, Zenia. So Thank u so much…)

“POST” Valentine

She was looking very beautiful in her red dress. He had planned many things to make this day a special one for both of them. They were seating in her favorite restaurant for lunch, after watching movie. Their table was full of gifts, which they got for each other. Even he sang a song for her. It was all perfect. She was very happy and to see her smiling, he too was happy. She came home with all the gifts and greeting cards. She was kissing each and every gift which he gave and was putting in her drawer. But while doing so, out of nowhere she realized that many of those gifts (things back then) were related with their fights, arguments and bad memories. Her smile faded and she became sad, again.

Her favorite author said in one of his books, that “falling in love always hurts, because after all it’s a fall”. But still every one of us falls for this beautiful risk. Road designed for true love is never easy. But I think with certain things you can walk on this amazing path with your beloved partner without any difficulties. May be someday her favorite author will write a novel about your love story. And this will be the best gift for her.

Trust:

The most important or the base of any relationship is how much you both trust each other. No matter how beautifully you build your dream world together, but if you don’t trust each other then any given time your dream world will collapsed and you will left with only regret and nothing else. There will be the times, when you will have to lie but that too for the good of your relationship. It’s okay, but at the end of the day you should tell your partner about it. It will make your bond stronger. But don’t make it a habit.

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Communication:

Always ‘say it out’, what you want to. If you keep things with you, then it never going to work for your relationship.  Because sometimes what happens is that, these bloody things get piled up in your mind and when it becomes unbearable to handle, you just lash out those without thinking of anything. Your partner may get hurt if you share, what you didn’t like his/her behavior, and that is why most of the time we stay quite. But that will not going to help in the long run. Love is always about expressing, whether it is happiness or sorrow.

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Don’t be a cry baby:

Love comes with many feelings with itself, and one of them is getting emotional or being sensitive. There will be fights, arguments and lots of crying but don’t make it repetitive. They say that crying is one of the forms of expressing and it never makes you weak, but it does if you do it regularly. And it does affect your partner and your bonding.

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Never Assume Things:

Many of us have a bad habit of assuming things that didn’t even happened. These are the thoughts which were constantly running in our head, but in reality they never exist. Never listen to anyone and don’t try to judge the things which are based on your assumptions. Sometimes your sixth sense might assume the right thing but then, it’s on you to give importance to your relationship rather than those assumptions which hardly matters.

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Love Yourself:

In the process of loving someone else, we sometimes forget to love ourselves. If you are not happy with yourself then no matter how hard you try, you will never able to give hundred percent in relationship. So do something which makes you happy, be it your hobby or any creative things. It will help to boost your self confidence and in turns will make your bond even strong.

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Patience:

‘Time makes things always better’, but many of us don’t go by this. We have the habit of just rushing into things and want to get them back normal. But by doing so, we always make things horrible. And in the regretting never makes any sense. So no matter what happens, just give some time and eventually all the things will become normal. And for that always believe in your love, always. Most importantly think, think & think, before you act.

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I read somewhere that Love is not blind, rather it is deaf, so don’t just say things, make them happen.♠♠

 

 

A Lunch Break…

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I was way behind in schedule for submitting my project. Still 3 modules were pending and I haven’t even started preparing PowerPoint presentation. In short I was screwed. It was 1’ o clock and that to I realized when Nidhi came to my desk and showed her classy fast track watch. I looked at her, smiled and went to correcting the layout of my third last module. “Don’t behave so workaholic, its lunch time now, just lock your PC & come”, she managed to say that sarcastically. I thought she was flaunting her watch but she was not. I told her that I will join her in sometime, and asked her to go ahead without looking at her. But she didn’t moved a bit, and when I looked at her, she gave me an “I am really pissed off” expression. (When you are talking to a girl, always make eye contact, and never ignore her). I looked at her apologetically, and said that I will be there in 5 min. She waved her hands in air dismissively and went away towards the cafeteria.

Half an hour passed and I was still on the same module. I saw everyone coming from the canteen, and I saw Nidhi. I waved my hand to call her; she looked at me but then ignored me with “dare you talk to me” face. (Girls have the right to ignore you, but you should be okay with this & never try same with them, and if you do then be ready for consequences). I felt sorry and hungry at the same time. But the break was over. In this fast paced life we are used to skip many things but there was a time in everyone’s life when those thirty minutes of lunch break held a very special place.

Though Marathi was my favorite subject, I was constantly looking at my friends watch. Still 20 minutes were left for recess bell. I was damn hungry and moreover, I had bought bhindi sabji in my Tiffin, which is my all time favorite. At sharp, 3:10, recess bell rang. I put my books in bag and left the classroom immediately. Like all other students, I never used to eat my Tiffin in the classroom itself. I would love to do that, but in school days I was too shy to get involved in groups. Behind all my shyness, there is a long story. Maybe someday I will share that with everyone, but not now. Because as I mentioned, I m hungry now and world’s best bhindi fry is waiting for me.

Besides our school, there is a huge society. I am saying huge, because this society has around 400 houses and most importantly, peoples who live here have the heart of gold. This society had played vital role in whatever I am today. When you enter the society, first you will get to see a small temple of Lord Hanuman and behind it there are houses for gardeners who work in society. My mother used to keep my Tiffin at one of those houses. So in lunch break I used to go there and eat my lunch. There was one unique chair, on which I used to sit and eat my Tiffin. The place where I used to sit, from there my school building is just some steps away. Our school doesn’t have a proper ground unlike the other two schools. But that didn’t stop us from playing. We have one concrete play ground, but usually we used to play there in our PT lectures. So in break time we left with the school corridors and then streets. That society has a big ground but we are not allowed to play there.

After finishing my lunch I sit there only, for rest of the break. I still don’t know how one can survive in those six hours without eating anything. But then there were some exceptions like my classmates. Some of them never used to eat anything in recess instead of that they just used to play and enjoy. Now one might think that to play means it has to be a game of cricket. But we are not allowed to keep the accessories related to cricket, so my friends invented some new games, which were just awesome. The first game I remember was something they used to call as “Aba-Dubi”.  I don’t know the meaning of the name of this game, but I can assure you that it’s one of the funny and painful game. You only require one soft ball, remember those yellow smiley balls or you can create the ball like structure with your hanker-chief also. And then split into two teams. The rules are simple; you just need to hit the person from the opponents’ team, so the team which gets the maximum number of hits will lose. Actually there is no one to count the hits. When one used to hit the ball with all the power, I can see the intensity in his eyes, the perfection to hit the target (here, friend in opposite team). Also the technique used by the target to dodge the attack and once when he got hit, the pain on his face. So in short I used to witness all the possible emotions in those thirty minutes.

The second game is something we are familiar and is nothing but the game of football. So the rules were all the same minus football. I know it sounds weird but my friends never used that sphere like structure while playing this game, instead of it they used to play with a plastic bottle. But our school management got many complaints by the pedestrians, so this game was later banned.

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Previously I used to eat Tiffin in school only, but not in the classroom. On the last floor there was a way or the staircase to the terrace. I had a habit to sit on the staircase and have my lunch. There was a big window adjacent to the stairs. So from there I can able to see the others playing below on the concrete playground. I mentioned this place, because there is one small story behind it. Whenever I get chilly in my sabji, I used to throw it down through that window. On our concrete ground we had one roof like structure which is made up of cement. So that chilly used to land on that roof. One day I was about to throw one such chilly and then I saw something which made me happy and proud. On that roof many small chilly plants were grown and one plant even has small chilly on it. That moment was really sweet (but not those chilies).

For girls, it is the best time for gossiping. I never heard any of their discussions. But now after all these years I am sure that their gossiping had also the same subjects related to shopping, movies, and ongoing affairs in school. But I have never seen her doing these stuffs. She was different. Okay, here I am talking about my crush. I would love to write something more about her, but I have to control my emotions or else my girlfriend would definitely kill me for this.

Once the bell rang which signals the end of break, we all just rushed to our respective classrooms. In school our teachers used to give the lectures chart or time-table, so depending on it we used to bring the books, so that we didn’t have to carry all the books every day. So while drawing this chart in our notebooks, we used to draw two horizontal lines and write RECESS in block letters in the lunch break column. I think that column and those 30 minutes were one of the best things which I had experienced in my life. And I will treasure all those memories throughout my life.

I think there are some stages in everyone’s life and while advancing through each stage we used to leave some memories behind, which might be good or bad. I want to thank all of you who read my previous article and gave me the courage and support to write more. So here I am with my new article with some precious old memories. I hope you all will love it.

Pain

……Always demands to be felt

No one can always stay happy and if someone is happy all the time then he might not know the real meaning of happiness. There comes a time in everyone’s life when they get sad, alone and feel something called as pain. But do you think this pain thing really make any difference?? I think it should not, because A: Pain is temporary just like happiness is, and B: Sometimes you need to feel the pain to get over it.

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While surfing through TV channels, I finally stopped at one particular channel where, one young lady or to be precise an actress was being interviewed by a reporter regarding her upcoming movie. Her next film was about to release in some days and the theme or the story line of that film is based on depression. I loved one thing when she mentioned that this is a story of a lady or wife who stays in village. We who stay in suburbs are familiar with this term and on top of it all the medical or diagnostic terms related to it. But even I never heard that people who stay in villages or remote areas are dealing with the depression. May be they have their own different terms for calling it. But anyway we will get to see once this movie hits the theater, and yes the name of the movie is “Mohor”. It’s a Marathi movie.

We come across many people who never share their pain or never express exactly what they are feeling. I think I am one of them. But over the time I started hating my behavior as it is causing me a lot of troubles both mentally and physically. While going through all this situations I am blessed that I have her. No matter how disgusting I behave sometimes, she always understands. I am really blessed to have her in my life. Touchwood!!

When you keep all the pain or sorrow in your heart, it is the mechanism similar to soda bottles.The more you try to put the pressure on the bottle, with the equal or more force it will come out. And same goes with the pain, the more you keep it your mind, there comes a time when it will come out in such a way that it will make you suffer and the only thing you will left with is guilt which will kill you every day. I think pain and anger are inter-related things. If you don’t express what is there which is hurting you then over the time, that thing takes a form of anger and then it just lashes out. And it is not good at all.

Many of us have a mindset that expressing the pain makes us weak. If a man cries then he considered as a cry-baby or is labeled as sensitive person. And as a loyal part of this society we get used to this fact that men should always be strong no matter what happens, But then before being a man, we are a human being, we are tend to get hurt. But we are too smart that we have found many ways to express the pain, and one of them is alcohol. Again we choose the wrong medium to express.

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The best and only possible way to deal with this problem is to express what exactly you are feeling inside. Sometimes your dear ones might hurt you, at that time don’t hesitate to tell them that you are not liking whatever they did. They will understand. But if you keep all those things with you then it will affect your relationship with them. So it is always better to say rather than hide.